Saturday, March 03, 2007

True MIL Confessions - Edition 14

1. Your mother (my grandma-in-law) is grouchy. She is grouchy ALL THE TIME. Now I understand that it is because of her brain tumor, but before any of us knew about the brain tumor, my telling her off for being rude was no more than she deserved. Calling me later to tell me that grandma's feelings were hurt and that I needed to apologize, EVEN THOUGH YOU AGREED WITH WHAT I SAID, didn't make me regret what I said. Perhaps if YOU told her off once in awhile, she'd tone it down a little.

2. I found a gorgeous, expensive, art-show photograph for you for Christmas, framed it, and wrapped it carefully so it wouldn't break. You didn't say a thing when you opened it--not even "thank you." Whereas I exclaimed, smiled, and generally put on a good show for my, let's see, name-brand (e.g., Hershey) cookbooks, orange-scented bath products, gift cards to Bath & Body Works (I don't shop there because the store makes me sneeze), etc.

3. Every Christmas, you tell me not to write a thank-you card. WTH?! I think I shut you up when I said that MY mother taught me to write thank-yous, and you wouldn't want me to disobey my mother, but I have a feeling we're going to have this conversation again next year. And the next. Ad nauseum.

4. Calling your son every day, much less SEVEN TIMES every day, is not and was not ever appropriate. Not in college, not before we were married, not now. He has set the caller ID to read "The Nuisance" and play scary music when your number comes up. (And you wonder why we don't answer our phone.)

5. Asking your son about our sex life is not and was not ever appropriate. I don't know whether you've stopped, because hubby won't tell me--he knows I'm thisclose to confronting you about it.