True MIL Confessions - Edition 13

1. The thought of you being alone with my child terrifies me. I am going to try to delay that happening for as long as I possibly can.

2. Spare me the marital advice, will you? Quantity does NOT make you an expert in the subject (married six times; to the same guy twice). I only think how lucky the bastards are to have gotten away.

3. My mom was taken to the ER with renal failure on December 20. Over the next few days as the doctors struggled to explain what was wrong, we stopped by MIL’s house. In response to her question, I said we would probably skip Christmas evening at my grandmother’s since I didn’t think I could enjoy it in her absence or be up to fielding questions that even the doctors couldn’t yet answer.

Oh, she said perkily, then we’d be free to come here that night rather than opening gifts Christmas Eve.

We usually spent all that evening at her house, about two hours with my parents Christmas morning, midday at her parents’ house, and a few hours on Christmas evening at my grandmother’s – it’s exhausting. I had always got the feeling that MIL resented the time we spent with my family on Christmas day (or almost any other day), but it was kind of obvious now. I wanted to throw up.

By Christmas day, the doctors were pretty sure they knew what Mom had, but not sure at all that their treatments would be enough. I decided to go to hubby’s grandparents thinking it would take my mind off Mom lying in ICU. MIL couldn’t wait to grab the spotlight with her “news” and as soon as we arrived the entire family was bombarding me with questions. It wouldn’t have been that bad if I felt they were concerned and sympathetic, but it seemed like some kind of morbid entertainment for most of them with MIL hamming up her role as “stand-in mom.” I spent the next few hours on the verge of tears.

Before we left, MIL made a point of asking us if we were coming to her house to open presents. I let hubby say yes, but as soon as we got in the car, I told him I couldn’t handle any more. He went without me so that we wouldn’t “hurt her feelings” by both not showing up. Yes, she had spent so many years using emotional blackmail to get her way that he would rather leave his wife alone, in tears over her mother’s life-and-death struggle than risk upsetting his own mother.

By the end of March, the only signs that Mom had been sick were occasional bouts of fatigue. If my mom had not recovered, I might not have ever talked to MIL again over that.

4. When your grandson asks you very nicely and innocently to come to his concert why do you have to be such a mean and uncaring old bag? How do I explain to my children why you aren't there for them?

5. My husband and I have been married for two years. We're both in our mid-twenties. We have PLENTY of time to have children. Reminding us every hour on the hour how much you want grandbabies is a deterrent, not encouragement. When we're out of debt and hubby has a full-time job,then we'll have children. In other words, on our time frame, NOT YOURS.