Tuesday, December 12, 2006

True MIL Confessions - Edition 12

1. It is NOT possible for a diaper to cripple a child. So next time you think about writing me telling me that you are worried my son will suffer "lifelong nerve, bone and muscle damage due to the constriction," go f*ck yourself sideways.

2. Thanks for the death-trap bassinet, by the way. The slats were nearly twice the recommended width, the mattress didn't fit all the way and it's over 100-year old frame had seen better days. I'm surprised it wasn't coated in lead-based paint.

3. Quit your f*cking bitching about not seeing your grandson every week. You live an hour away from us and we both work full-time. We barely see our baby and yet you think your so damn special.

4. Operating a digital camera or a computer is not brain surgery. People have shown you how to use them a MILLION times!! Don't own them if you can't use them. You just frustrate people.

5. You are in no competition with my mother. She lives closer and, quite honestly, she is a better woman than you any day. She is strong and independent and doesn't whine about petty sh*t. Plus, she could whoop your ass big time.