True MIL Confessions - Edition 1
1. You spent years trying to turn your boys into your own personal slaves/yes men/momma's boy zombies. You succeeded with one, but the other escaped. I have spent years helping him overcome the damage you inflicted (and continue to try to inflict). I may say some really mean things behind your back, but the things I say are SO VERY tame compared to what your SON says!
He will never forgive you! I will never forgive you! And you will NEVER be left alone with our children as long as I am alive!!!
You wonder why we only visit a couple times a year! What you don't realize is that if your wonderful, long-suffering husband dies before you, you will never see us again!
2. Stooooop sending us baby clothes. Your taste is terrible. I know you mean well, but I will no sooner parade my girl around in that Babies R Us discount rack crap than you would walk around in a leather bustier.
And the boxers you sent your son for Xmas? The XXXL ones that look like they were made for Jared before the Subway diet? Here’s a hint: Just because it’s in the dollar bin doesn’t always make it a good deal.
3. The thing that bugs me most about my MIL is that she's so unaccommodating. If she needed a favor from me, I would re-arrange my schedule, forgo errands, whatever... I would BE THERE for her. But when we need something, which is almost never, do you think she would alter her life even one tiny bit? Hell no. I thought grandmothers were supposed to be kindly and helpful. Not this one. I mean she IS helpful, but in ways that we don't need. Like she'll have a shitload of leftover food from a dinner party or she made something that didn't get eaten so she'll bring it over or ask us to come get it. Suffice it to say it's usually something none of us want and don't have room for but in her mind, this counts as some huge favor that she's done us even if we didn't ask for it. SO ANNOYING.
4. If you think that letting your husband drink gallons of wine and shots of vodka is fine, but beer is not, then you are really more stupid than I thought. And by the way, he slams beers in the garage. How you don't know is beyond me.
5. You complain that we never let you help in the kitchen during holidays. You are right, we don't. Want to know why? Because it's frustrating to explain to you 10 times that yes, we intend to make the recipe the way it's written and no, we don't think it would be better made your way. If we want to make creamed spinach, for example, IT WILL HAVE CREAM IN IT no matter how much you protest. There's a whole room full of people to consider, not just one.
He will never forgive you! I will never forgive you! And you will NEVER be left alone with our children as long as I am alive!!!
You wonder why we only visit a couple times a year! What you don't realize is that if your wonderful, long-suffering husband dies before you, you will never see us again!
2. Stooooop sending us baby clothes. Your taste is terrible. I know you mean well, but I will no sooner parade my girl around in that Babies R Us discount rack crap than you would walk around in a leather bustier.
And the boxers you sent your son for Xmas? The XXXL ones that look like they were made for Jared before the Subway diet? Here’s a hint: Just because it’s in the dollar bin doesn’t always make it a good deal.
3. The thing that bugs me most about my MIL is that she's so unaccommodating. If she needed a favor from me, I would re-arrange my schedule, forgo errands, whatever... I would BE THERE for her. But when we need something, which is almost never, do you think she would alter her life even one tiny bit? Hell no. I thought grandmothers were supposed to be kindly and helpful. Not this one. I mean she IS helpful, but in ways that we don't need. Like she'll have a shitload of leftover food from a dinner party or she made something that didn't get eaten so she'll bring it over or ask us to come get it. Suffice it to say it's usually something none of us want and don't have room for but in her mind, this counts as some huge favor that she's done us even if we didn't ask for it. SO ANNOYING.
4. If you think that letting your husband drink gallons of wine and shots of vodka is fine, but beer is not, then you are really more stupid than I thought. And by the way, he slams beers in the garage. How you don't know is beyond me.
5. You complain that we never let you help in the kitchen during holidays. You are right, we don't. Want to know why? Because it's frustrating to explain to you 10 times that yes, we intend to make the recipe the way it's written and no, we don't think it would be better made your way. If we want to make creamed spinach, for example, IT WILL HAVE CREAM IN IT no matter how much you protest. There's a whole room full of people to consider, not just one.
posted by True MIL Confessions at 7:57 PM
5 Comments:
Wow. I thought it would be interesting to see what kind of MILs people have, and I was RIGHT!
Ha ha! Funny stuff.
Heh heh. I wonder who wrote the last one? :-)
Man! My MIL doesn't seem quite so irritating after all...lol
Suddenly I feel all warm and happy and loving. It's like Christmas in August.
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